Healthy Selfishness

My goals are on paper and I've even scheduled time in my calendar to allow for some time for me to work towards accomplishing them. Yet, when things start getting hectic or my client's needs increase, the first thing I tend to do is sacrifice the time for myself to help others. When that happens more than once in a week I find myself getting a little cranky and out of sorts. How can I move forward if I'm not giving to myself?

Most of us are givers to some degree. Some give to others because they know no other way of getting by in the world. Certain religious traditions teach us to relinquish self for the benefit of others, but how healthy is that...really? Even Mother Teresa had goals. She founded a home for the dying and a home for lepers. She traveled the world campaigning for the poor, the sick and the down-trodden. While her work benefited others, she accomplished great things by realizing goals.

In the book, "Calling in the One" by Katherine Woodward Thomas, she says, "When we are authentic with ourselves by setting our limits, honoring our feelings, prioritizing our own well-being, and clearly defining our wants and needs, we identify the path we are on, making it much easier for the blessings of life to come to us."  Henry Kissinger once said, 'If you don't know where you are going, every road will get you nowhere.' 

There's a term, 'Healthy Selfishness' which many folks haven't embraced. Rather, they prefer to play the role of the overburdened victim or the 'selfless giver'. These people generally have lives full of drama, much of it unhealthy. Healthy selfishness means taking time for you to learn, to grow, to center spiritually. This can include such activities as inspirational reading, exercise, meditation, journaling, yoga - I know someone who takes time to practice breathing, deep and full breaths. Ahhhhhh. (Did you know it is physically impossible to panic and breathe deeply at the same time?)

Sure, there are many of us who find great personal reward in helping others. But, if you don't take time for yourself, how can you fully be there for others? How do you experience healthy selfishness?

---